Gentlemen, let's get something straight, technology is not an aphrodisiac. Don't get me wrong, I love technology and what it does for us...but there is one thing that it doesn't do much of: impress women. Yes, there are a few grrls out there who are as tech savvy as the next guy, but most really aren't impressed with your knowledge of the next generation of android.
Now, I know the world is ruled by the geeks at google and the nerds at twitter, but they can overcome their tech awkwardness with a stack of stock options. You, on the other hand, still have to impress a woman with your guile and charm. So, consider this a public service announcement from the stayathomebachelor©, when it comes to attracting a woman, avoid the following five technology pitfalls:
1. Being Mayor on Foursquare - sorry guys, playing electronic tag while running around at night does not provide real social status. As far as I'm concerned, the only way to become "mayor" of a joint is to sit at the end of the bar and drink everyone else under the table...night after night. Additionally, try explaining to your smoking hot date that the reason you are not taking her to Pulino Bar and Pizzeria is because you don't get the points/badges or whatever it is that you "virtually get" by frequenting other places.
2. Wireless, bluetooth earpieces - except when you are driving, they are downright unacceptable. No matter how much lipstick you put on this pig, you still look like an jackass walking around with one of these devices sticking out of the side of your head. Two female friends who meet for drinks after work are never going to be overheard saying, "back off bitch, I saw the guy with the earpiece first".
3. Any Mp3 that is not an iPod (unpaid mention). Sorry, the one you have might be better, might hold more music, might have some nifty feature that you love showing off - over and over again...but it's not cool. And never will be. Basically women will look at you as someone who buys "tier 2" brands and someone who buys tier 2 brands is sort of, well you fill in the bank.
4. Fantasy Sports Leagues (not really a technology, but definitely powered by it). Keep it to yourself...nothing says, "I don't date much" like explaining to woman at the bar the you got screwed because Jose Reyes has a thyroid problem.
5. Gaming. It is time to face the facts, at your age the only gaming you should be doing is in a casino where women in skimpy outfits serve free drinks. If you insist, hide the console. Nothing says you haven't grown up quite like her tripping over your Gameboy (unpaid mention).
Oh, and blogging, I might keep that to myself too...
stayathomebachlor©
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Art of the Duke
"I'm sorry sir, the kitchen is already closed" the maitre d said to the man standing in front of me at the reception desk. It was 11:20 on a Friday night and I had just arrived at one of NYC's more popular restaurants after an almost three hour Broadway performance. I could feel my date's fingers tighten around mine , transmitting her thoughts right through our touch: "are we really going to have to go someplace else at this hour". Surely, that wouldn't bode well for the rest of the evening.
As the bewildered man stepped aside I was greeted with a wide smile and "welcome back, so good to see you, we have one of our best table waiting for you." My date's grip loosened and with it some of her inhibitions. This was going to be a good night.
What led to this preferential treatment?? Well, as the time honored saying printed on cheap signs in many a saloon says, "tipping is not city in China". So let me introduce you to the "art of the duke", aka "the greasing of palms", "taking care of the man", or simply known as "giving someone a tip". And I am not talking about the 20% (you better be giving 20, not 15) that you add to your bill at the end of a meal. These TIPS are truly representative of the acronym for which they stand: To Insure Proper Service. As Ferris Buehler said, "see how a fiver can change a guy's attitude".
This is different than trying to bribe your way past the thick necked bouncer with an ear piece guarding the velvet rope at some club. If you must subject yourself to the indignity of the Marquis Clubs of the world, you are probably dating too young for your age...oh, hell what am I writing, more power to you, tell the man you want "bottle service" and you and your young friend(s) will have a prime table in no time. Champagne for everyone!!! Even the people you don't know.
The art of the duke is for when you want to elevate your game and begin to frequent some of the better establishments in town. I recommend scouting a few places and narrowing it down to those that you will feel comfortable entertaining a woman at and going to regularly. The important thing is to find places that have some staying power not the one's that open in spring, close by fall, and are staffed by a rotating gaggle actors and models who never work the same shift two days in a row. No, you want one run by restaurant professionals, who keep records of regulars and who you see every time you walk in. Once you have figured out who the "gatekeeper of the tables" is, find a reason to ask him to do you a small favor during one of your first visits. At the end of that meal, after you have paid the bill inclusive of tip, approach him as you are leaving with gesture of your gratitude discreetly folded in your palm of your hand and make a seamless transfer to his as you shake it goodnight. Nothing more than thank you should be said and, "oh by the way, can I get your card for future reservations". At that moment his eyes will lock on yours and your fate will be sealed. A table will always be yours, even if it means a couple from New Jersey will have to wait a little longer at the bar. An important note: your date and the other staff members should never witness any of this. Discretion is key.
Once you have established the connection and see that your status has been elevated, this subtle gesture of gratitude should be repeated at the beginning of your evening, preferable as said gatekeeper shows you to a prime spot in the dining room and your date is giving you the "how did we get such a great table look" which of course can only lead to too many double entendres on "insuring proper service". I'll leave that to your imagination.
As far as the amount of the "duke", use your best judgement based on the establishment and the fact that this is now standard operating procedure. When in doubt, go with the higher of the two you were thinking...it is a worthwhile investment against looking for another restaurant at 11:20 at night.
©thestayathomebachelor
As the bewildered man stepped aside I was greeted with a wide smile and "welcome back, so good to see you, we have one of our best table waiting for you." My date's grip loosened and with it some of her inhibitions. This was going to be a good night.
What led to this preferential treatment?? Well, as the time honored saying printed on cheap signs in many a saloon says, "tipping is not city in China". So let me introduce you to the "art of the duke", aka "the greasing of palms", "taking care of the man", or simply known as "giving someone a tip". And I am not talking about the 20% (you better be giving 20, not 15) that you add to your bill at the end of a meal. These TIPS are truly representative of the acronym for which they stand: To Insure Proper Service. As Ferris Buehler said, "see how a fiver can change a guy's attitude".
This is different than trying to bribe your way past the thick necked bouncer with an ear piece guarding the velvet rope at some club. If you must subject yourself to the indignity of the Marquis Clubs of the world, you are probably dating too young for your age...oh, hell what am I writing, more power to you, tell the man you want "bottle service" and you and your young friend(s) will have a prime table in no time. Champagne for everyone!!! Even the people you don't know.
The art of the duke is for when you want to elevate your game and begin to frequent some of the better establishments in town. I recommend scouting a few places and narrowing it down to those that you will feel comfortable entertaining a woman at and going to regularly. The important thing is to find places that have some staying power not the one's that open in spring, close by fall, and are staffed by a rotating gaggle actors and models who never work the same shift two days in a row. No, you want one run by restaurant professionals, who keep records of regulars and who you see every time you walk in. Once you have figured out who the "gatekeeper of the tables" is, find a reason to ask him to do you a small favor during one of your first visits. At the end of that meal, after you have paid the bill inclusive of tip, approach him as you are leaving with gesture of your gratitude discreetly folded in your palm of your hand and make a seamless transfer to his as you shake it goodnight. Nothing more than thank you should be said and, "oh by the way, can I get your card for future reservations". At that moment his eyes will lock on yours and your fate will be sealed. A table will always be yours, even if it means a couple from New Jersey will have to wait a little longer at the bar. An important note: your date and the other staff members should never witness any of this. Discretion is key.
Once you have established the connection and see that your status has been elevated, this subtle gesture of gratitude should be repeated at the beginning of your evening, preferable as said gatekeeper shows you to a prime spot in the dining room and your date is giving you the "how did we get such a great table look" which of course can only lead to too many double entendres on "insuring proper service". I'll leave that to your imagination.
As far as the amount of the "duke", use your best judgement based on the establishment and the fact that this is now standard operating procedure. When in doubt, go with the higher of the two you were thinking...it is a worthwhile investment against looking for another restaurant at 11:20 at night.
©thestayathomebachelor
Saturday, March 13, 2010
That Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady
I'm not one to throw another guy under a bus (well, maybe if I can benefit from it), but there are just some times in life when you witness such an extreme level of "douche-ness" that the jack-ass flat out deserves a shove. And no, I am not talking about John Mayer this time.
Case in point: I recently found myself next to a very attractive woman at an upscale bar in Manhattan (funny how I always manage to squeeze into that exact spot). Noticing that she was a bit agitated, I cautiously engaged her in conversation. Turns out that she had been waiting more than twenty minutes and was concerned that she was being stood up by "this guy my friend set me up with". No calls, no email, no word at all. Sensing an opportunity knocking, I did what any sensible stayathomebachelor© would do: I both acknowledged and validated her brewing anger, and perhaps stoked the fire a bit.
Ten more minutes go by and the woman next to me is approached by another woman who tells her she is her date's assistant and that he was stuck in a meeting but would be there shortly. Yes, over thirty minutes late and the assistant shows. The word that comes to mind is nuclear. Unless he was coming through that door with a diamond tennis bracelet from Cartier (unpaid mention) he was toast. Chances of that happening: zero. Chances of me now getting her number: pretty damn high.
So, you might be wondering what did this "dude" do wrong by "just being a little late". The answer: plenty. As public service announcement, I am going break down the play like an NFL announcer, only without the use of a telestrator.
1. Never make a woman wait on a first date (or ever if possible). When you do, you tell her you think you are more important than she is and you have immediately put yourself on the defensive. The first words out of your mouth when you come through the door are "I'm sorry" - not good. Apologizing shows weakness which clinical research studies have proven is not an attractive quality to most women.
2. CALL, TEXT, EMAIL. To not do so when running late is both rude and stupid. Now, I will grant that being late is sometimes unavoidable - like when someone is offering $500 million for your company. Beyond that, if it is after five and you are stuck in a meeting, there is nothing wrong with saying you need to make a quick call to postpone a prior engagement. Chances are other people in the room need to do the same. A call from an assistant in the first 10 minutes is acceptable. After that, it is all you. By nature, women are a forgiving kind, but don't push your luck.
3. NEVER send your assistant to apologize and make excuses - especially if your assistant is a female. Doing so tells a woman that you are slightly mysogynistic and will rely on said assistant to remember birthdays and other important dates in your relationship that hasn't even begun yet. Your assistant will be the one to actually pick out gifts, send flowers and cards while you stay self-absorbed in your own little world. Your assistant will be the one helping her push in the maternity room while you are on some golf course with your buddies. (Yes, in case you haven't noticed, women take what men think are isolated incidents and project them out over a lifetime.)
And please, no feedback about not wanting look anxious by being on time. Being punctual shows a woman you find her desirable enough to drop all other things for her...and that same clinical study shows that women like to feel desirable. When they feel that way, men actually have a better chance of advancing the romance. I actual suggest getting to the restaurant/bar early so that you can scope out the room, secure a good table and even have a drink waiting for your date when she arrives. It allows you to relax and shows her you are in command of the situation - not a bad look.
Lastly, it is a jungle out there...there are stayathomebachelors© in the grass who have nothing but time and good manners...and they know how to slither right on in...
###
Case in point: I recently found myself next to a very attractive woman at an upscale bar in Manhattan (funny how I always manage to squeeze into that exact spot). Noticing that she was a bit agitated, I cautiously engaged her in conversation. Turns out that she had been waiting more than twenty minutes and was concerned that she was being stood up by "this guy my friend set me up with". No calls, no email, no word at all. Sensing an opportunity knocking, I did what any sensible stayathomebachelor© would do: I both acknowledged and validated her brewing anger, and perhaps stoked the fire a bit.
Ten more minutes go by and the woman next to me is approached by another woman who tells her she is her date's assistant and that he was stuck in a meeting but would be there shortly. Yes, over thirty minutes late and the assistant shows. The word that comes to mind is nuclear. Unless he was coming through that door with a diamond tennis bracelet from Cartier (unpaid mention) he was toast. Chances of that happening: zero. Chances of me now getting her number: pretty damn high.
So, you might be wondering what did this "dude" do wrong by "just being a little late". The answer: plenty. As public service announcement, I am going break down the play like an NFL announcer, only without the use of a telestrator.
1. Never make a woman wait on a first date (or ever if possible). When you do, you tell her you think you are more important than she is and you have immediately put yourself on the defensive. The first words out of your mouth when you come through the door are "I'm sorry" - not good. Apologizing shows weakness which clinical research studies have proven is not an attractive quality to most women.
2. CALL, TEXT, EMAIL. To not do so when running late is both rude and stupid. Now, I will grant that being late is sometimes unavoidable - like when someone is offering $500 million for your company. Beyond that, if it is after five and you are stuck in a meeting, there is nothing wrong with saying you need to make a quick call to postpone a prior engagement. Chances are other people in the room need to do the same. A call from an assistant in the first 10 minutes is acceptable. After that, it is all you. By nature, women are a forgiving kind, but don't push your luck.
3. NEVER send your assistant to apologize and make excuses - especially if your assistant is a female. Doing so tells a woman that you are slightly mysogynistic and will rely on said assistant to remember birthdays and other important dates in your relationship that hasn't even begun yet. Your assistant will be the one to actually pick out gifts, send flowers and cards while you stay self-absorbed in your own little world. Your assistant will be the one helping her push in the maternity room while you are on some golf course with your buddies. (Yes, in case you haven't noticed, women take what men think are isolated incidents and project them out over a lifetime.)
And please, no feedback about not wanting look anxious by being on time. Being punctual shows a woman you find her desirable enough to drop all other things for her...and that same clinical study shows that women like to feel desirable. When they feel that way, men actually have a better chance of advancing the romance. I actual suggest getting to the restaurant/bar early so that you can scope out the room, secure a good table and even have a drink waiting for your date when she arrives. It allows you to relax and shows her you are in command of the situation - not a bad look.
Lastly, it is a jungle out there...there are stayathomebachelors© in the grass who have nothing but time and good manners...and they know how to slither right on in...
###
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Rant
I don't mean to rag on another media/blog/website/e-newsletter, but sometimes disappointment in something you really love builds into an infuriating rage that eventually splatters across the room like blood in a Tarantino movie. You know, like when your girlfriend (probably ex-girlfriend now) launches into a verbal assault over the fact that you left a light on. It's never about the light, it's about the hundred other things you have done, or not done, to irk her that she has kept tamped down deep in her sub-conscious, festering in bile, until a female armageddon is raining down upon you.
For me, that current disappointing relationship has been with UrbanDaddy. For the last few years it has sent smart, daily dispatches to hipsters, quasi-hipsters, want-to-be hipsters and a wide assortment of B&T characters who could populate the next "Shore" thing on MTV. It appears to have aimed its sights at an audience who has outgrown Brother Jimmy's and is ready to step up its game. I had come to really enjoy and trust its advice. It has been spot-on with restaurant and lounge openings, shopping and other social currency. Its mobile app is perhaps one of the best I have seen. If you don't have it, I highly recommend it.
It's just lately, the daily information has not always lived up to the early days of the affair and things are going from bad to worse. A few weeks ago it was a posting about a girl who will wear you company's T-shirt on her website. By the way, that would be a girl you never heard of, on a web site you never heard of, and oh, it's a dumb idea anyway. Today, cuff links that are also bottle openers. Wow, haven't seen that since Sharper Image went out of business. There are more examples like this, but unlike my last girlfriend, I see no need to pile on.
As with most one-sided rants that you have been on the short end of, the intention is not to hurt, but rather to help; to point out where we may have gone off track in the hopes that we can right the ship before we sink it. So in the spirit of all those "probably right" girlfriends, I am offering this rant to UrbanDaddy. Get back to your former self, put me in the know, give me an underground speakeasy or artisanal gin distilled by blind monks in Katmandu - information we could use to actually impress a woman, not come across as a walking tool. Stayathomebachelors© are counting on you.
For me, that current disappointing relationship has been with UrbanDaddy. For the last few years it has sent smart, daily dispatches to hipsters, quasi-hipsters, want-to-be hipsters and a wide assortment of B&T characters who could populate the next "Shore" thing on MTV. It appears to have aimed its sights at an audience who has outgrown Brother Jimmy's and is ready to step up its game. I had come to really enjoy and trust its advice. It has been spot-on with restaurant and lounge openings, shopping and other social currency. Its mobile app is perhaps one of the best I have seen. If you don't have it, I highly recommend it.
It's just lately, the daily information has not always lived up to the early days of the affair and things are going from bad to worse. A few weeks ago it was a posting about a girl who will wear you company's T-shirt on her website. By the way, that would be a girl you never heard of, on a web site you never heard of, and oh, it's a dumb idea anyway. Today, cuff links that are also bottle openers. Wow, haven't seen that since Sharper Image went out of business. There are more examples like this, but unlike my last girlfriend, I see no need to pile on.
As with most one-sided rants that you have been on the short end of, the intention is not to hurt, but rather to help; to point out where we may have gone off track in the hopes that we can right the ship before we sink it. So in the spirit of all those "probably right" girlfriends, I am offering this rant to UrbanDaddy. Get back to your former self, put me in the know, give me an underground speakeasy or artisanal gin distilled by blind monks in Katmandu - information we could use to actually impress a woman, not come across as a walking tool. Stayathomebachelors© are counting on you.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Perception is Reality
So what have you been doing with your time??
Now that is a tricky one for the stayathomebachelor©. Whether you are being eyeballed by a prospective employer or being given the once over by the incredibly attractive woman your friend's wife FINALLY set you up with, there is a tendency to want to be truthful. Resist. You don't want to outright lie, but you don't want tell the full truth either. Logging hundreds of hours of college basketball on ESPN (unpaid mention) in a quest to ace the March Madness pool is not the money making venture people are hoping to hear from you.
Instead, stay focused and stick to simple answers that leave much to the imagination: "Interviewing"; "Taking Classes" "Practicing a foreign language", all work if you leave it at that. No one needs to know that the interview was only with your best friend's father; the class was just a one hour tutorial at the Apple Store (unpaid mention); and your foreign language studies only occur while paying at the corner bodega. This is one of those times that less is definitely more.
And just as it is important to know what to say, it is equally important to know what NOT to say. So, as a public service announcement to all stayathomebachelors, here are the ten things you should never say...to anyone...at anytime...
10. Let me explain the difference between Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz...
9. I've been saving so much by clipping coupons.
8. Do you think I could be an ultimate fighting champion?
7. Today on Oprah...
6. I wish MTV would bring back Jackass.
5. Did you know movies only cost six bucks before 2PM on Wednesdays?
4. I love a good nap in the afternoon.
3. Did Obama extend unemployment benefits?
2. No, Scores isn't there anymore.
1. 9 AM??? That's kind of early isn't it???
Now that is a tricky one for the stayathomebachelor©. Whether you are being eyeballed by a prospective employer or being given the once over by the incredibly attractive woman your friend's wife FINALLY set you up with, there is a tendency to want to be truthful. Resist. You don't want to outright lie, but you don't want tell the full truth either. Logging hundreds of hours of college basketball on ESPN (unpaid mention) in a quest to ace the March Madness pool is not the money making venture people are hoping to hear from you.
Instead, stay focused and stick to simple answers that leave much to the imagination: "Interviewing"; "Taking Classes" "Practicing a foreign language", all work if you leave it at that. No one needs to know that the interview was only with your best friend's father; the class was just a one hour tutorial at the Apple Store (unpaid mention); and your foreign language studies only occur while paying at the corner bodega. This is one of those times that less is definitely more.
And just as it is important to know what to say, it is equally important to know what NOT to say. So, as a public service announcement to all stayathomebachelors, here are the ten things you should never say...to anyone...at anytime...
10. Let me explain the difference between Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz...
9. I've been saving so much by clipping coupons.
8. Do you think I could be an ultimate fighting champion?
7. Today on Oprah...
6. I wish MTV would bring back Jackass.
5. Did you know movies only cost six bucks before 2PM on Wednesdays?
4. I love a good nap in the afternoon.
3. Did Obama extend unemployment benefits?
2. No, Scores isn't there anymore.
1. 9 AM??? That's kind of early isn't it???
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Words to Live By
"No one likes a sore loser". Lessons learned on the playground of our youth still hold true in adulthood and business. For some, easier said than done, especially when security is hovering over you while you pack your boxes. There is an inner desire to take your "Employee of The Month" award from two years ago and "regift" to your now former boss in perhaps not the most subtle of manners. And while you might be forgiven for an impetuous action in a moment of stress, "remember the time that guy went ballistic" becomes your legacy. A newly minted stay at home bachelor© hopefully would have handled the situation more wisely and tactfully (which of course would have been the first signal he could be accepted into the brotherhood). The person firing you today could be rehiring you tomorrow, or at least providing a reference.
And it doesn't get any easier from there. For the next several months the same question keeps coming, "so what happened?". "I got screwed" and any other variation of said theme is just not an acceptable response for a stay at home bachelor©. No one wants to be around, or for that matter, hire an angry person. Maintaining a level of dignity, respect and decorum about your situation is critical to maintain proper social and business standing. Being a stay at home bachelor© means that you can take it on the chin and deal with a momentary setback. A stay at home bachelor© knows that living well is the best revenge, and that is what we intend to do (more on that in future post). So, yes, please continue to invite us to cocktail and dinner parties, we won't be the downer in the corner. Please continue to consider us for employment, we won't poison the well.
I was inspired to write this post by Jim Caldwell, the coach of the the Indianapolis Colts. Moments after losing the Super Bowl, perhaps the most important game in his life and one in which his team was heavily favored to win, microphones were thrust into his face and reporters asked for his reaction to the loss. With over 100 million people watching and expected some time honored sports cliche about how the better team may not have won today, the stoic rookie head coach instead invoked the words of 19th century poet William Ernest Henley's poem, Invitcus (yes, that is where the movie got it's name) when he said, "our heads are bloody, but unbowed". Simple, dignified, graceful. Now those are words to live by.
The StayAtHomeBachelor©
For a full text of Invictus: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/
And it doesn't get any easier from there. For the next several months the same question keeps coming, "so what happened?". "I got screwed" and any other variation of said theme is just not an acceptable response for a stay at home bachelor©. No one wants to be around, or for that matter, hire an angry person. Maintaining a level of dignity, respect and decorum about your situation is critical to maintain proper social and business standing. Being a stay at home bachelor© means that you can take it on the chin and deal with a momentary setback. A stay at home bachelor© knows that living well is the best revenge, and that is what we intend to do (more on that in future post). So, yes, please continue to invite us to cocktail and dinner parties, we won't be the downer in the corner. Please continue to consider us for employment, we won't poison the well.
I was inspired to write this post by Jim Caldwell, the coach of the the Indianapolis Colts. Moments after losing the Super Bowl, perhaps the most important game in his life and one in which his team was heavily favored to win, microphones were thrust into his face and reporters asked for his reaction to the loss. With over 100 million people watching and expected some time honored sports cliche about how the better team may not have won today, the stoic rookie head coach instead invoked the words of 19th century poet William Ernest Henley's poem, Invitcus (yes, that is where the movie got it's name) when he said, "our heads are bloody, but unbowed". Simple, dignified, graceful. Now those are words to live by.
The StayAtHomeBachelor©
For a full text of Invictus: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/
Saturday, February 6, 2010
The Manifesto
In a city (NY) where what you do is sometimes more important than who you are, the Great Recession has created a whole host of anxiety inducing moments. For a certain class of single men who had become accustomed to brandishing business cards and platinum cards as a type of social introduction, but who now find themselves among the 15 million or so unemployed, that moment comes when someone asks, "so, what do you do for a living?". It's doubly ego-challenging when the question is charmingly raised by an attractive single female.
Married men, especially those with children, have it much easier. Earnest answers like, "I'm spending more time with my family", or "I am enjoying the simple pleasure of walking my daughter to school each day", help avoid the question and yet still convey dignity and elicit respect in this challenging moment. Times might be tough, but he is a good family man with good family values is the thinking.
For single guys, not so easy. Shopworn answers such as "consulting", "thinking of starting my own business", "exploring my options" are just euphemisms for "I'm out of work and trying to figure it out". They don't exactly telegraph "desirability". And unlike the the married guy in the exact same situation who comes across as a solid citizen, the single guy comes across as a bit adrift. Regardless of one's economic situation, no one likes to see a single man with too much time on his hands.
The answer for all you former masters of your own universe, is a new term I would like to introduce to the world (after having of course copyrighted it, established a domain name, printed t-shirts, retained a literary and hollywood agent) is, I am a "stay at home bachelor©". In one fell swoop, you will have disarmed the situation and charmed the woman sitting next to you at that dinner party you were dreading. Saying I am a stay at home bachelor© with a sly smile tells the world, "I may be out of work, but that hasn't stopped me from enjoying life and from being fun to be around". It immediately bestows a bit of rakish charm on the speaker and is so preposterous that it actually works. It shows the world you have a sense a humor about your situation and also the confidence to know you are going to bounce back better than before. And in case you haven't noticed, many women find humor and confidence quite attractive. (Incidentally, it also puts you are equal footing with those sanctimonious stay at home dads.)
Now, there is much more to being a "stay at home bachelor" than merely claiming it to be your current occupation. You have to live a a certain life and have style to make a claim to the throne. This blog will explore the many ways one lives the stay at home bachelor© life and maintains his standing and desirability in social circles while "searching for the next big thing". I hope you will both follow and humor me in cyberspace.
Cheers,
The StayAtHomeBacehlor©
Married men, especially those with children, have it much easier. Earnest answers like, "I'm spending more time with my family", or "I am enjoying the simple pleasure of walking my daughter to school each day", help avoid the question and yet still convey dignity and elicit respect in this challenging moment. Times might be tough, but he is a good family man with good family values is the thinking.
For single guys, not so easy. Shopworn answers such as "consulting", "thinking of starting my own business", "exploring my options" are just euphemisms for "I'm out of work and trying to figure it out". They don't exactly telegraph "desirability". And unlike the the married guy in the exact same situation who comes across as a solid citizen, the single guy comes across as a bit adrift. Regardless of one's economic situation, no one likes to see a single man with too much time on his hands.
The answer for all you former masters of your own universe, is a new term I would like to introduce to the world (after having of course copyrighted it, established a domain name, printed t-shirts, retained a literary and hollywood agent) is, I am a "stay at home bachelor©". In one fell swoop, you will have disarmed the situation and charmed the woman sitting next to you at that dinner party you were dreading. Saying I am a stay at home bachelor© with a sly smile tells the world, "I may be out of work, but that hasn't stopped me from enjoying life and from being fun to be around". It immediately bestows a bit of rakish charm on the speaker and is so preposterous that it actually works. It shows the world you have a sense a humor about your situation and also the confidence to know you are going to bounce back better than before. And in case you haven't noticed, many women find humor and confidence quite attractive. (Incidentally, it also puts you are equal footing with those sanctimonious stay at home dads.)
Now, there is much more to being a "stay at home bachelor" than merely claiming it to be your current occupation. You have to live a a certain life and have style to make a claim to the throne. This blog will explore the many ways one lives the stay at home bachelor© life and maintains his standing and desirability in social circles while "searching for the next big thing". I hope you will both follow and humor me in cyberspace.
Cheers,
The StayAtHomeBacehlor©
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