The Manifesto

In a city (NY) where what you do is sometimes more important than who you are, the Great Recession has created a whole host of anxiety inducing moments. For a certain class of single men who had become accustomed to brandishing business cards and platinum cards as a type of social introduction, but who now find themselves among the 15 million or so unemployed, that moment comes when someone asks, "so, what do you do for a living?". It's doubly ego-challenging when the question is charmingly raised by an attractive single female.

Married men, especially those with children, have it much easier. Earnest answers like, "I'm spending more time with my family", or "I am enjoying the simple pleasure of walking my daughter to school each day", help avoid the question and yet still convey dignity and elicit respect in this challenging moment. Times might be tough, but he is a good family man with good family values is the thinking.

For single guys, not so easy. Shopworn answers such as "consulting", "thinking of starting my own business", "exploring my options" are just euphemisms for "I'm out of work and trying to figure it out". They don't exactly telegraph "desirability". And unlike the the married guy in the exact same situation who comes across as a solid citizen, the single guy comes across as a bit adrift. Regardless of one's economic situation, no one likes to see a single man with too much time on his hands.

The answer for all you former masters of your own universe, is a new term I would like to introduce to the world (after having of course copyrighted it, established a domain name, printed t-shirts, retained a literary and hollywood agent) is, I am a "stay at home bachelor©". In one fell swoop, you will have disarmed the situation and charmed the woman sitting next to you at that dinner party you were dreading. Saying I am a stay at home bachelor© with a sly smile tells the world, "I may be out of work, but that hasn't stopped me from enjoying life and from being fun to be around". It immediately bestows a bit of rakish charm on the speaker and is so preposterous that it actually works. It shows the world you have a sense a humor about your situation and also the confidence to know you are going to bounce back better than before. And in case you haven't noticed, many women find humor and confidence quite attractive. (Incidentally, it also puts you are equal footing with those sanctimonious stay at home dads.)

Now, there is much more to being a "stay at home bachelor" than merely claiming it to be your current occupation. You have to live a a certain life and have style to make a claim to the throne. This blog will explore the many ways one lives the stay at home bachelor© life and maintains his standing and desirability in social circles while "searching for the next big thing". I hope you will both follow and humor me in cyberspace.

Cheers,
The StayAtHomeBacehlor©