Perception is Reality

So what have you been doing with your time??

Now that is a tricky one for the stayathomebachelor©. Whether you are being eyeballed by a prospective employer or being given the once over by the incredibly attractive woman your friend's wife FINALLY set you up with, there is a tendency to want to be truthful. Resist. You don't want to outright lie, but you don't want tell the full truth either. Logging hundreds of hours of college basketball on ESPN (unpaid mention) in a quest to ace the March Madness pool is not the money making venture people are hoping to hear from you.

Instead, stay focused and stick to simple answers that leave much to the imagination: "Interviewing"; "Taking Classes" "Practicing a foreign language", all work if you leave it at that. No one needs to know that the interview was only with your best friend's father; the class was just a one hour tutorial at the Apple Store (unpaid mention); and your foreign language studies only occur while paying at the corner bodega. This is one of those times that less is definitely more.

And just as it is important to know what to say, it is equally important to know what NOT to say. So, as a public service announcement to all stayathomebachelors, here are the ten things you should never say...to anyone...at anytime...

10. Let me explain the difference between Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz...

9. I've been saving so much by clipping coupons.

8. Do you think I could be an ultimate fighting champion?

7. Today on Oprah...

6. I wish MTV would bring back Jackass.

5. Did you know movies only cost six bucks before 2PM on Wednesdays?

4. I love a good nap in the afternoon.

3. Did Obama extend unemployment benefits?

2. No, Scores isn't there anymore.

1. 9 AM??? That's kind of early isn't it???